A Very Erscoga Christmas 5: Sharknado 7: The Seaboot

(It’s another bright day on Termata. It’s been a few weeks since Nalitie and Dukermin returned from the Void, and they’ve been hard at work rebuilding Erscoga. Bean Co. has been given a bean factory out in space, orbiting Riewa, per the agreement Nalitie and Dukermin made with the Legumes Ltd. jerks. Lydia has been contained and put back on Riewa, and the glaciers on Pluto have been stabilized. For the most part, Erscoga has been put back together.) (Inexplicably, though, it is still Christmas in Erscoga, despite the fact that Christmas usually goes away after a day or two. It seems that the RNG is still broken.) (Naturally, Nalitie’s house is filled with screaming children. It is 7 in the morning.) [[Next|Pg2]]

`Bee: *has been repeating this exact phrase to Nalitie for the last 5 minutes, and is getting increasingly upset* `SEE ART!` Nalitie: *tries to read the dialogue on the page and translate it before a new line is written* *failing miserably* I don’t know what you want D: Bee: *growing more frustrated* `SEE ART!` (Gaster comes walking down the hallway from the bathroom, carrying one screaming, crying skeleton baby by the foot. He holds it up to Nalitie and points at it.) Gaster: `HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP?` Nalitie: Gaster! That’s not how you hold a baby!!! *takes it from him* Bee: *tugging at Nalitie’s shirt* `SEE ART!` (In the living room, Willy Wonka and Dave are attempting to soothe Lisa and Leonarda. Christine is trying to feed Erscoga Tobias.) Dukermin: *Bursts in* NALITIE I JUST WOKE UP AND THERES A STRANGE CORPSE IN MY HOUSE AND MICKEY IS GLITCHED INTO THE WALLLLL *runs out* Nalitie: *does not even notice her* *to Gaster* Gaster will you PLEASE tell me what Bee is saying??? Gaster: *translates into ASL* Nalitie: *does not know ASL* That’s not helpful!!! Dukermin: *runs back into Nalitie’s house* ALSO I KEEP MEANING TO GIVE THIS TO YOU BECAUSE I DON”T NEED IT AND YOU DOOO *throws the universal translator in Nalitie’s general direction* *runs back out* Nalitie: *catches it* *suddenly understands what everyone’s saying* *looks down at Bee* See Art? You want to go see Art in the Vent Hole? … ugh, ok, we can go say hi, but then it’s nap time! Bee: !!! *running to the Vent Hole* Nalitie: *still holding Gaster’s child* *goes with them* Gaster: Excuse me!!! *following* (After approximately half an hour, all of the children have been fed, changed, put down for naps, and the house is quiet. Gaster has retreated to the bathroom with his children.) Nalitie: *casually walks back out into the living room* … *to Christine* I feel like Dukermin was here. Any idea what she wanted? Christine: *had been too busy dealing with the children* *shakes her head*` [[Next|pg3]]

`(In the caves beneath Dukermin’s warehouse, you see Mickey Mouse glitched 90 degrees into the cave wall. An unknown generic man is glitched into the floor, dead. Dukermin is inspecting the wall trying to figure out how to remove them. Snape is nowhere to be found.) Dukermin: *c-es a hammer* Alright time to bust you out of the wall, I guess. *hammers away* “Mickey”: Never should have come here. Dukermin: What? What did you just say to me? We’ll talk about this later *hammer* Nalitie: *up in the elevator, trying to remember how to open the secret hatch* (Dukermin frees “Mickey” from the wall… but the mascot costume glitches out of existence! A blonde woman stands before Dukermin.) Dukermin: Mjoll?? Mjoll the lioness?? You were the mascot? Mjoll The Lioness: Exploring these caves feels like coming home. I missed this. Dukermin: We are home?? Huh?? I need a beach vacation. Nalitie: *has finally gotten into Dukermin’s house* DUKERMIN I THINK WE NEED TO GO ON A HOLIDAY. It’s still Christmas for some reason, we did all the exposition stuff, and I’m tired of coherent plot stuff. We need a filler episode to kick off Arc 3, the Void stuff was too heavy. I don’t think Handplates Christmas Carol should be our only Christmas Episode this year. Mjoll: Guards! Trespasser! Dukermin: Huh???? Nalitie: Uh… Who’s that? *gesturing to Mjoll* And also who’s that? *gestures to the dead guy* Dukermin: That’s Mjoll, my wife? I guess? And that’s her weird brother I think. Or was at least. Don’t know why I know that. Let’s go on vacation. Nalitie: I think we should do a beach episode. Gaster needs to see the sun. I think Sweeney Todd lives in Ask Erik!, we could go steal his bathing dresses. (Somewhere in another universe, Sweeney Todd has a vague sense of dread come over him.) (Nalitie and Dukermin head out to Green Circle Labs to leave for the Ask Erik! Universe.)` [[Next|pg4]]

`David Tennant: Erik is knocking loudly and impatiently on the door to Log Lady’s basement room. Log Lady: HOLD ON I’M COMING!!!!!!! *opens the door* Erik: *looking kind of sad* Have you been able to get into your account yet? We haven’t heard from Nalitie in a while…. I miss answering questions. Log Lady: No, sorry bud. And I haven’t gotten anything else from the void, either. Erik: Ah, that’s too bad. I hope our friends are doing well in their dimension. David Tennant: Meanwhile, Nalitie is struggling into her Christmas Masquerade outfit from the very first Erscoga Christmas. It is still covered in fruit punch and frosting, and it also doesn’t fit her very well anymore. She’s standing with Dukermin in the bushes outside of Sweeney Todd’s house. Dukermin: Are there beaches in Ask Erik? Nalitie: *shrugs* No idea. Do you have your key? Dukermin: of course *commits breaking and entering minus the breaking* Don’t you have a ton of friends here? maybe they know where the beach is. Nalitie: Oh, I was thinking we were going to do our beach party back in, like, Mackinac or something. Dukermin: *commiting larceny by stealing various bathing dresses* Oh yeah we should do that! Nalitie: *rifling through Sweeney’s wardrobe* Sweeney Todd: *pokes his head around the door, sneakily, holding a razor in front of him* Dukermin: ACK *runs out the door* Nalitie: *notices that Dukermin left, also notices Sweeney* *with armfuls of clothes* WHOOPS time to go!!! *jumps out the window* Sweeney: Nalitie….? Oh you can have those. Now she can’t drag me out for another one of her “beachside picnics”. *tidies the room and goes back to what he was doing* Nalitie: *lands in the yard, hopefully near Dukermin* DUKERMIN Where did you go? *taking off her masquerade outfit* Dukermin: *pops out of a bush* oh good you survived. Nalitie: *shrugs* It’s Ask Erik!, of course I survived. Oh! We should go invite people to our party now that the war is over! It’s been, like, a month since I last talked to them, I bet they’d love that. They can see our planets. Dukermin: Sure! We stole a lot of bathing dresses for some reason so we could invite all sorts of people. Nalitie: Cool, I think I remember where Erik and Log_Lady’s house is. *shoves the clothes into her pockets* David Tennant: Nalitie and Dukermin head down the road to Erik and Log_Lady’s house, which is much closer to Sweeney’s house than Nalitie remembers. (There’s a knock at the door.) Erik, in a frilly apron, holding a feather duster: *opens the door* Apologies for the outfit, I accidentally agreed to let Log Lady make my cleaning apron. I don’t often get visitors while Raoul is at work… Can I help you?` [[Next|pg5]]

`(Standing on your front porch is Nalitie. She looks about fifteen years older than when you last saw her–she looks like she’s maybe 30 years old. Her dark hair is tied back in a braided bun, and she’s sporting a new outfit for Arc 3: cargo pants, a white button up shirt, a red jacket, and a crown made of what looks like hot glue painted gold. She still stands at about 5 feet tall. She looks tired.) (Standing behind her awkwardly is Dukermin. She looks about 15 years old, has burgundy hair with side-swoop bangs. She’s wearing pleather pants and a red shirt and has put a gray and black pinstriped bathing suit over top of her clothes.) Nalitie: !!! Erik!!! Man, so much has happened in Erscoga, it feels like it’s been forever, even though I just sent you a pigeon last August! Erik: Nalitie?? *starts tearing up* Oh I’m so glad to see you!!! *grabs her in an awkward bony hug* Nalitie: *a little confused by the reaction, but gives him a big hug back* Woah, it hasn’t been that long… Erik: What do you mean? Nalitie, it’s been six years!! I didn’t even know if you were still out there!! Nalitie: ??? Six years??? I just sent you stuff, like, a month ago. In August. Erik: Did we answer it? Log Lady hasn’t been able to get into her Wattpad account since 2018. She deleted an email address and forgot that it was the one linked to the account. Nalitie: ??? Uh, it is 2018? Erik: No.... It’s 2025. Nalitie: ??? *turns around to Dukermin* Uhh????? Dukermin???? We set that form to “present,” right??? Dukermin: Yes? But I guess we never checked to see what year it was. Also I guess I don’t know what kind of time frame the office people follow. Regardless! It’s beach weather! I don’t wanna miss the fish rain! Nalitie: Oh yeah! *still standing there in a half-hug* We came to invite you to our beach party in Erscoga! Erik: Oh! *trying to compose himself* That sounds lovely! Come on in, I’ll just need to prepare a few things first. *grabs a satchel and starts packing sunscreen, towels, etc.* Who else is attending? Dukermin: Sure *heads in* I’m gonna email Papyrus and see if he wants to meet us at the beach. Maybe that’ll wake Candle Grandma up… *emails Papyrus* Nalitie: We’re bringing whoever wants to come! It’s a fun filler episode! Oh, also, *points* that’s Dukermin. Not sure if you’ve met. She’s my co-queen. Erik: Ah, I’m aware of your existence but I do not believe we have met. Pleasure. *slight bow while hands are full of various sand shovels and buckets* Dukermin: *curtsies* Pleasure is all mine. Gustave: *walks down the stairs* Do we have compan- NALITIE!!!!!!!!!! *runs down and almost tackles Nalitie in a hug* Nalitie: Woah! Hi!!! Man, I should disappear from existence and spontaneously reappear more often! Gustave: It’s good to see you!!! You always bring fun adventures with you! What are we doing this time??? Nalitie: *puts on a pair of those disposable sunglasses from the eye doctor behind her regular glasses like a cool person* Beach party! In Erscoga, of course. Gustave: Oh boy!! I’ll go get ready! *runs back up to his room* Nalitie: *to Dukermin* If I had been planning ahead, I would have made a batch of that Secret!!! soup. That sounds like a beach party food, right? Dukermin: Yess hot cabbage water sounds very refreshing! Next time. *is making a big email list to invite lots of people to the beach* David Tennant: Log Lady comes up the basement stairs and surveys the room, blinks a few times, and then nonchalantly waves to everyone. Log Lady: Hi guys!! I hear we’re going to the beach? We’ll have to stop by the bank and kidnap Raoul from his job on the way there so he doesn’t feel left out. Nalitie: Sounds good to me. Want some sunglasses? *tosses her a pair that she definitely didn’t steal from Raoul when she left Ask Erik!* Log Lady: Heck yeah! *swaps out normal glasses for sunglasses and then runs into the table because she can’t see* David Tennant: Harrow descends from the attic due to all the commotion, peeking down from the top of the stairs. Harrow: Why is everyone so- *does a double take* NALITIE??? Nalitie: Hi! Are you ready to come to our beach party after your crushing defeat in the War of Ask Erik! and Erscoga and also that disastrous last Christmas Party we had??? Harrow: I- what?? Dukermin: It will be very normal! *thumbs up* Harrow: You mean… the one from like over half a decade ago that I can barely remember? *comes down the stairs the rest of the way, standing at the base* Nalitie: Dude that was like 5 months ago, what are you talking about? Dukermin: There’s some time stuff happening! That’s why i think we should just all be on beach time right now! *jimmy buffett plays in the background* Log Lady: It’s five o’clock somewhere! Nalitie: Man, I should have brought the van. Dukermin, are you able to open the Erscoga hole from here or are we all gonna have to squeeze into a Lunchbox? Dukermin: I think so I feel very powerful in Ask Erik! It’s weird. Log Lady: Oh yeah, you can usually just do whatever here. Nalitie: *looking a little nervous because of the Unlimited Powers in Ask Erik!* Yeah… Harrow: You wanna see a magic trick? Erik: NO NOT AGAIN *drops a pair of goggles in fear* Dukermin: Ooh sure! David Tennant: Unbeknownst to anyone except Harrow, there may or may not be tiny bone fragments scattered throughout various places in the house. Where did the bones come from? Don’t worry about it. They have a supplier. Suddenly, a full skeleton grows from a tiny fragment placed somewhere behind Erik, and taps him on the shoulder. Erik: *jumps and drops his bag, spilling various beach supplies comically all over the floor* Nalitie: Oh man, my new BFF who lives in my bathtub is gonna love you. *casually helping clean up**unfazed by the skeleton* Dukermin: wow! *claps* hey let me try something we still need to find raoul right *opens a portal directly underneath wherever raoul is into the living room* Raoul: *falls into the living room with a sound that’s a combination scream/yell* I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF WORK, WHAT DO YOU WANT- Dukermin: POWERRRRR! Nalitie: *waves* Gustave: *coming back down the stairs in swim shorts and a shirt* Oh hi other dad, you’re home early! Are you coming with us to the beach? Raoul: *staring at the unexpected guests currently in his living room* Beach- what- why are- Nalitie?? Nalitie: Yes, yes, I’m alive, there’s a weird time thing going on, but we will worry about that later in Arc 3! We are going to the beach to have a very normal time! Dukermin: Did someone say the beach?? *opens a portal to Nalitie’s house.*` [[Next|pg6]]

`(You all tumble out into Nalitie’s living room. The house is quiet for once. Willy Wonka is sitting in the armchair in the living room, wearing ear defenders. It looks like the couch recently went on its trip up to the space station. Dave is somewhere, probably in his bedroom hiding from Gaster. Christine is in the kitchen, making a sandwich. Gaster is in the bathtub, napping.) Nalitie: Welcome to my house, everyone! It’s kind of cramped lately, but I have to get some stuff for the kids, so they can come to the beach with us. Oh, also we could check on the guys in the basement, I guess. Christine: *walking out of the kitchen, unsure who Nalitie is talking to* *sees the Pile of People From Ask Erik! standing around the living room* …? Gustave: Hi mom!!!!! I haven’t seen you in so long!!! *runs up for another tackle-hug* Christine: ??? Gustave? What are…. *grabs him in a big hug* How did you get here? Gustave: *points to Dukermin and shrugs* We’re going to the beach! (A scream rings out from the bedroom down the hall, followed by a baby’s cry. Christine looks back towards the bedroom, but doesn’t really want to let go.) Nalitie: I gotchu. *goes down to the bedroom* (She comes back with a toddler in her arms. They have brown skin and dark, curly hair. Their face is buried in Nalitie’s shoulder. Steven follows her, an infant in his arms.) Steven: *suddenly notices everyone* Oh! Er–hello, everyone. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’m surprised you were able to get to Erscoga–I thought we had that barrier up? Nalitie: We got rid of that after the war. Keep up, man. *to the toddler in her arms* Bee, would you like to meet my friends? They’re gonna come with us to the beach! (Bee does not respond.) Dukermin: *goes to the vent hole and fetches Rob and Art* *Art is imprisoned in a bubble* I thought we should bring Rob for fun and Art because we shouldn’t leave him unattended. Log Lady: Hi everyone! I’m Log Lady, *gestures to everyone* that’s Gustave, Raoul, Harrow, and this *shoving a very reluctant Erik out from behind her* is Erik! I don’t remember if we’ve met all of you, so good to see you again and/or meet you! Gustave: *transitions to holding Christine’s arm very tightly and waves!* (Harrow and Raoul are arguing in the background over the bone construct that Raoul noticed before they went through the portal, something about how Harrow needs to stop scaring Erik with the skeletons.) (Bee looks up at the sound of Log Lady’s voice, peeking out from behind a lock of hair. Bee looks at Erik, then over at Art in the bubble. They point.) Nalitie: Yes, Art is coming with us too. *gestures at Erik* And that’s Erik. He’s your mama’s… friend, from a long time ago. He’s not the same as your void friend. Erik: Ah.. hello new people... *waves timidly and then goes back to “hiding” behind Log Lady, which is kind of hilarious because he towers over her* Dukermin:*runs to the bathroom and fetches Gaster and the skelebabies* Christine: *holds out her free arm to take Bee* Ah, I don’t suppose we had Bee and ET before we left for Erscoga… *gestures Steven over* *to Gustave* Gustave, these are your half-brothers. They, er, both are named Tobias. Nalitie knows a little more about how that works than I do… Gustave: *eyes light up* I’m a big brother??? Oh man, I would have brought happy-being-born presents if I knew!! I’ll have to get some to give you guys late instead! *pats both kids on the head* Christine: *smiles and relaxes* *was worried this would go much differently* Gaster: *has finally emerged from the bathroom with his children* Nalitie: *runs off to grab Lisanarda, more sunglasses, and the diaper bag* Dukermin: *starts setting up lunchbox portals to the beach* Don’t forget the sunscreen!` [[Next|pg7]]

`(After 10 pages of exposition, you all finally arrive on the beach on Bensel. It’s situated within viewing distance of Old McDonald’s farm and 7even’s house. Snape is here, and he looks very annoyed that you’ve all shown up. Mackinaw!Frisk is sitting on a blanket next to him.) (Papyrus is here, wearing his cool beach clothes. He has been waiting for you for three whole pages, and he looks very excited when you arrive.) Papyrus: AH! THERE YOU ARE! *sprinting across the beach* HELLO, DUKERMIN! IS CANDLE HERE??? Candle Grandma: *is here now but still refusing to talk to Dukermin* Papyrus, dear! It’s been so long! I was sidetracked by moronic behavior! (To the outsiders, it looks like Dukermin has suddenly become an old lady with curly purple-gray hair, a blue cape, and a candle in her hand.) Candle Grandma: Oh I see we’re having a beach day in spite of all the loose ends! That’s wonderful, has everybody put on sunscreen?? Papyrus: I DO NOT KNOW WHAT SUNSCREEN IS, BUT I AM EXCITED TO FIND OUT! *also realizes there’s a lot of other people here* ALSO, I HAVE FAILED IN MY ROYAL ROY’L GUARD DUTIES TO WELCOME YOU ALL TO THE BEACH! *goes over to shake everyone’s hands* I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HEAD OF ERSCOGA’S ROYAL ROY’L GUARD!!! *to Harrow* AND YOU MUST BE OUR ENEMY WHO HAS COME BACK FOR SOME REASON! WELCOME BACK! Harrow: *to Nalitie* I was the enemy…? When I say I don’t remember, I genuinely don’t. Nalitie: Yeah, the whole reason we made Erscoga was because we were at war with you for some reason! *can’t quite remember the reason, but isn’t sure why* Harrow: Of course I was. *turns back to Papyrus* Thank you for the welcome, I suppose? Papyrus: OF COURSE, HUMAN! *going around introducing himself AGAIN to everyone individually* *to Erik* HELLO! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AND I MUST SAY THAT YOU LOOK VERY SKELETAL AND THEREFORE VERY HANDSOME! PLATONICALLY. Erik: *blushes a very VERY deep red* T-t-thank you, sir. *looks like he is about to pass out from meeting so many new people in one day* Nalitie: *putting on her bathing suit directly over her clothes, just like Dukermin did earlier* *sunscreening her children* Gaster: *just standing there* Art: *in a bubble, very confused, has not met anyone yet* Rob: *running his fingers through the sand, amazed at being able to interact with things again* Nalitie: *jokingly* Hey, maybe your role in Erscoga could be “beach dude.” Rob: *intrigued* Candle Grandma: *following Papyrus around* * sees gaster with the babies* I don’t think I saw you put sunscreen on those babies, dearie! Best make sure they’re covered so they don’t burn their bones! Nalitie: *squinting up at Lux* Wait, can we even get sunburned here? Does Lux give off UV? Candle Grandma: Better to be safe than sorry! *grabs sunscreen from somewhere and hands it to Gaster* Log Lady: You can’t be too careful! *pulls out so many bottles of sunscreen from Erik’s bag and tosses them around to everyone* Alright, swimsuit time! *snap’s fingers and does a twirl* *is still in her normal clothes* Wait.. that usually works... uh... do you have any extra bathing suits? I don’t usually have to actually pack any.... Nalitie: I do! *pulls out all of the stolen bathing dresses and lays them out on the ground* If it’s a magic thing, that might be the power cap. We, uh, don’t allow unlimited magic here. For safety. *starts forcing Gaster into one of Sweeney Todd’s bathing dresses against his will* Log Lady: Magic? Oh I dunno. I don’t think I have magic. *shrugs and grabs a very tacky purple skirtsuit with spots* Is this Mrs. Lovett’s? I feel like I’ve seen these all before. Nalitie: Uhhh I can neither confirm nor deny those allegations. *puts on a second pair of sunglasses (stolen from Raoul, of course) on top of her glasses and disposable sunglasses* Raoul: Why do you have my sunglasses?? Nalitie: Uhhhh… I’m gonna go look for rocks! Anyone who wants to look for rocks can come with me! *speed-walks away from Raoul and into the ocean* Gustave: *freshly sunscreened by Erik* I love cool rocks!!! Let’s go! Harrow: *grabs a black swimsuit* Is there somewhere to change around here? Erik: Good thing I came prepared! *pulls a collapsible tent out of his bag and pops it up* You can go first. I have to set up some things. *starts blowing up floaties and distributing castle building supplies* Harrow: *enters the tent, and emerges changed into the swimsuit a couple minutes later* *proceeds to the water to just float on their back in silent contemplation* Gustave, with his pockets now full of rocks: *jumps up from under the water and splashes Harrow before swimming away giggling* Nalitie: *from the ocean, knee-deep in the water* By the way, obligatory Merry Christmas or something! It’s been Christmas here for weeks, for some reason, so that’s why we’re doing the beach party instead of our normal haunt at the Spectre, and definitely not for any other plot-related reason. Christine: *making a sandcastle with Bee while Steven and Willy Wonka watch the infants* (Erik and Log Lady change into swimsuits and join the castle building. Erik spends some time trying to get the sand to “the perfect consistency” before he is able to begin his elaborate structure. Log Lady makes a pile of sand and puts some shells on it.It keeps collapsing.) Bee: *throwing handfuls of sand* `!!! SEE!` Christine: *does not have the Universal Translator and has no idea what they’re saying* (A deep rumble is heard from off in the distance. As you all look to the horizon over the sea, storm clouds have started to roll in. Warm rain and trout begin to fall from the sky.) Dukermin: *takes over from Candle Grandma* Yay the fish rain! Nalitie: Oh, I was wondering when we were finally going to have some. It’s been a while, it feels like. Our weather system must be messed up, too. Harrow: *leaves the water so that they’re not as easy of a target for fish to hit them, and proceeds to join the castle building* (The storm begins to ramp up. An older every-man type person has also been on the beach this whole time. He stands up and nervously watches the storm as it gets closer and closer.) Nalitie: *still in the water, picking up rocks* *has an arm up to shield from the fish* Gustave: Hey is it normal for fish to fall from the sky? Nalitie: It’s sort of an intended weather feature? Haven’t seen it this strong in a while. Gustave: Oh ok! *keeps stuffing rocks in his pockets* ` [[Next|pg8]]

(The opening credits begin to roll as The Ballad of Sharknado plays. The title card appears.) Strange Man: Oh no, I can’t believe this, it’s a… (align:"=><=")[Sharknado 7: The Seaboot] (The storm clouds begin to swirl as a hurricane forms. Shark-shaped shadows are picked up and join the whirl.) [[Next|pg9]] (align:"=><=")[<iframe width="100" height="100" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hJ2Gy_bq4Dw?si=mmEo9E33fm_3c7Xh&autoplay=1&enablejspi=1" allow="autoplay"></iframe>]

`(The storm clouds begin to swirl as a hurricane forms. Shark-shaped shadows are picked up and join the whirl.) Dukermin: My goodness. It’s some sort of…. Waternado. Everyone! M- EAAAUGHASCK (A shark with a chunk missing from its left fin. flies out of the tornado, and seems to coincidentally run straight into Dukermin, who is swallowed whole. Perfectly inline with how physics works, it is sucked back into the` Sharknado`.) Nalitie: Dukermin!!! *legitimately distraught* … And you thought I was going to die first and leave you to do the bread taxes… *sheds a single Candle Grandma-esque tear* Gustave: I think we should go back to shore! *grab’s Nalitie’s hand and runs towards the others* (Art’s bubble pops and he lands in the sand.) (Four sharks fly out of the ` Sharknado` and land right in front of your group, blocking your immediate path.) (Back on shore, Christine, Willy Wonka, and Steven have gathered up the kids and are huddled together, unsure what to do.) Nalitie: *yelling over the sharks* Christine! Take the kids back to the bunker! William knows how to get in. *throws a lunchbox portal to the nearest person* Raoul: *jumps the shark, grabs Gustave, and joins in with the group making their exit* I did NOT sign up for this! (A shark lunges at Gaster and Gaster is swallowed whole. The shark then, seemingly completely unbothered by not being in water, flops over to Harrow.) Harrow: *dives out of the way, but proceeds to have Gaster shoot out of the shark, exploding the shark in the process* Gaster: *attempts to leave with the other group, still holding both of his children* Nalitie: *has finally made her way over to them* Oh no you don’t! *tosses his kids through the portal, but grabs him by the SOUL and keeps him there* You owe us still! (A shark flies out of the storm, heading straight for Log Lady.) Log Lady: *barely dodges and punches the shark, which is very very smooth* (The smooth shark careens out of the way and is speared on an upright sand shovel.) (Three sharks remain in front of you, but they’re dispatched quickly by a lawn chair wielded by the strange man.) Strange Man: Everyone, follow me! *starts running to Old McDonald’s house* Harrow: *follows, but first grabs and puts on their jacket so they have their various bone pieces* Erik: Should we be following a strange man?? Is this safe? Log Lady: I dunno but he just killed 3 sharks so I’m sticking with him! Nalitie: *takes one look back at the ` Sharknado` where she assumes Dukermin’s body is now* *follows the group, casually throwing on her nanofiber yarn armor* *yelling up ahead* y’all might want to watch out if we’re going on Old McDonald’s property! He may shoot at us! *sprinting up there anyway, dragging Art and Gaster with her* Erik: Oh dear... Strange man: *arrives at Old McDonald’s house and throws the door open* Old McDonald: *was standing inside with his shotgun* *fires at the strange man immediately* Strange Man: *ducks and throws his hands up* Whoa hold on there! Don’t you see we’re dealing with a ` Sharknado`? If you want to live you’ll let us in! I have plot armor anyway so shooting at me won’t do anything! Old McDonald: *suspicious, but does nothing more to stop them* *still pointing his gun at everyone, though* *doesn’t want to end up on the naughty list again, it is Christmas after all* (Strange Man ushers everyone in and shuts the door.)` [[Next|pg10]]

`Strange Man: Alright we don't have much time before the ` Sharknado` makes its way inland. What does this dimension have for anti-` Sharknado` defense? Nalitie: We have literally never had anything like this happen before. Well, sort of, anyway, there was that thing where someone *glares at Art* kept using Aubrey to open portals and that caused big storms, but that only stopped because we got deleted and then came back. I mean, we have a lot of stuff to defend against people like TreeGrass, and the Royal Roy’l guard took care of Lydia and those laser-shooting unicorns… *continuing to ramble* Erik: You speak as if this is a perfectly normal phenomenon! How is a tornado able to keep the sharks alive? How can a tornado even have malicious intent? Weather does not have sentience!! Also, Log Lady, your hand ought to be torn to shreds from the scales on that shark. Harrow: Honestly, just what the hell is a ` Sharknado`? Strange Man: *pressing his fingers to his temples* We’re going to need bombs, weapons, multiple celebrity guests, and who knows how far they’ll take it with a reboot! Nalitie: Oh, Mickey Mouse… er, Mjoll, I guess, probably has bombs, back in Dukermin’s house! Otherwise, we could swing by MTT Studios on Pluto, although that means leaving Bensel at the mercy of the ` Sharknado` while we gather things. But that gets us bombs and celebrities. (The house begins to shake and a shark comes flying through the window. Water begins to flood the room. The shark flies at Erik.) Erik: *pulls out his noose, catches the shark in it, and attempts to strangle it* What do I do with this?? It isn’t even breathing, I can’t strangle it! Gaster: *summons a blaster and destroys the shark* *under his breath*` I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HOW MY AFTERLIFE IS GOING TO BE SPENT...` Old McDonald: *firing into the air out the window* Strange man: *to old mcdonald* Do you have any chainsaws? Or other farm equipment? We need to get armed with something totally ridiculous immediately! Nalitie: *pulling things out of her pockets that have been in there for who knows how long* *pulls out what looks like a bunch of blender blades taped together, and also her cereal gun* I’m probably gonna need something stronger than this. *pulls of the Pocket Magician™* Oh! Pocket Magician™! Pocket Magician™: HELLO ONE HELLO ALL! ARE YOU HERE TO SEE THE GREATEST SHOW ON BENSEL? *does a tap dance* Nalitie: Can you magic us up some weapons? I could probably combine my blender blades and my gun. Or something chainsaw-related, if you’ve got it. Pocket Magician™: WEAPONS? OOH HOW INTERESTING! *to Erik* ILL START WITH YOU SIR *jumps over and snatches his noose and swallows it whole* *pulls a pocket chainsaw that's somehow tied like noose out of his shirt pocket* Erik: Hey- what?? *holding the pocket chainsaw with a bewildered expression* Pocket Magician™: AS FOR EVERYONE ELSE, LOOK IN YOUR LEFT SHOE! *twirls* (Inside all of your left shoes, you somehow pull out a gun, but the gun shoots chainsaws or whatever cuz these movies are the worst and there’s also just a small chainsaw taped to the front of it.) Nalitie: *also shoving individual blender blades into her cereal gun* *dual wielding bladed gun weapons* *also re-adjusting because she’s wearing too many layers, stowing her jacket and bathing suit in her pockets and leaving on the nanofiber yarn armor* Pocket Magician™: *Twirls back into Nalitie’s pocket* Log Lady: Uh..... *pulls out the gun that is somehow in her sandal* Man: This’ll work. So someone mentioned something about bombs? Nalitie: Yeah, Dukermin’s husband… wife… usually has bombs. She lives on Termata, though, so we’d have to leave the planet. Do we need to worry about the ` Sharknado` destroying Bensel while we’re gone? (Sharks are slapping against the side of the house. The rain is pouring.) Man: I’ll stay here with the old man *gesturing to Old McDonald.* You guys head out and get the bombs. We’ll also need a way to get up to the ` Sharknado`. And don’t forget about celebrity guests! Log Lady: Does Erik count as a celebrity? We might be able to get David Tennant out of his narration booth for a few hours... Man: You’ll have to take that up with The Cameraman. *slices a shark as it careens through the broken window.* Rob: *missing his role as “beach guy” already* Art: *finally speaking up* *to Nalitie* Excuse me, human, but is it really necessary for all of us to come with you? Rob and I could stay behind and help this strange man defend against the sharks… Nalitie: Oh, yeah we probably don’t need the whole party. PAPYRUS! I’m gonna say you should stay here in your Royal Roy’l guard duties, you can have Rob and Snape and Old Man Frisk as your troops. Art… nah, man, you’re still on parole. You’re coming with us. You know, since the last time you were able to do whatever you wanted you chose to erase us from existence and all. *ties herself to him using some of her nanofiber yarn* Just in case. *gets out a lunchbox portal, setting for Dukermin’s cave house* We ready to go? Log Lady: Let’s do it! *jumps in the portal*` [[Next|pg11]]

`(Everyone goes through the lunchbox portal and appears at the doorstep of the warehouse. For some reason, you all feel as though you’re being watched, like something else came through the lunchbox with you.) Nalitie: *searching for Mjoll* HELLO ARE YOU HERE WE NEED BOMBS Mjoll: *code is activated at the mention of bombs* *sings a lovely tune about bombs and leads them to a chest against the wall of the cave* Nalitie: *opens the chest warily, as if she expects it to be locked and/or booby trapped* (The chest is not trapped. It’s filled to the brim with bombs.) Nalitie: *stuffing her pockets with bombs* Anyone else want any? (You hear a rumbling sound from outside.) Erik: Oh god, now what is happening?? This is playing out like a bad movie.... (The fourth wall peels back a bit. You all catch a glimpse of metal out of the corner of your eye.) Mysterious figure: psst! Over here! (You all are able to focus and finally notice what could most certainly be described as a “Camera Man.” He’s a bipedal figure made out of various camera parts. He points at Harrow.) Camera Man: You over there! Did I hear them call you Harrow?? Harrow: Yeah? That is my name… Camera Man: As in… Harrowhark Nonagesimus?? tHE CELEBRITY? I saw you do bone magic too! Harrow: Oh god. Log Lady: *whispers* we need celebrities, play along!! *normal voice* Why yes, we just so happen to be friends with THE Harrowhark Nongismamnius! Harrow: Nonagesimus. Camera Man: Perfect! It’s been a minute since we had a celebrity scene! Just… step outside with me for a moment! *walks to the elevator* Harrow: *looks at everyone else* Should I… follow? Nalitie: *making shooing motions with one hand, and continuing to collect bombs with the other* Harrow: *gives two thumbs up before following* (The rain is coming down more now, and the clouds are beginning to swirl.) Camera Man: *leads Harrow out and points at a spot* Just stand there for a quick moment! Harrow: *hesitantly moves and stands in the spot* (Three sharks fall out of the sky, all seeming to target Harrow!) Harrow: *throws a small handful of bone fragments in the direction of the sharks, which turn into spears and skewer the sharks* *a shark kebob mayhaps* Camera Man: Sigh… I was hoping to see a death scene but I guess that was fine. Harrow: Yeah, that’s not happening with me. *wipes off blood running from their nose* Nalitie: *has finished collecting all of the bombs* We should get moving! We can check the Town Board for more celebrities that might be on Termata, and also we gotta swing by Pluto at some point. We can take the van if we run back to my house! Log Lady: Hey, is Willy Wonka a celebrity? Erik’s pretty famous too if you can get him to cooperate. Camera Man: (suddenly is behind Log Lady) I already saw that guy *gesturing to Erik* fight a shark and wasn’t impressed. But THE Willy Wonka? Take me to him! Log Lady: *jumps* AH! I don’t know where he is. (Storms ramp up, and more shark silhouettes can be seen in the clouds above.) Nalitie: *running up the secret stairs behind the elevator in Dukermin’s house, dragging Art along behind her* C’mon guys, my house is right across the street!` [[Next|Page 12]]

`(Nalitie leads everyone into her house, and runs down through the Vent Hole. She knocks on the bunker door, trying to coax Willy Wonka out and hurriedly explaining their celebrity needs through the door.) Willy Wonka: *hesitantly opens the bunker door, as if he expects sharks to fly in immediately* Nalitie: Great! Uh, go talk to that guy *points over at the Camera Man* I gotta ask Christine for a favor. *goes over to her* Camera Man: *To Willy Wonka* Big fan! Big fan! Have you ever fought a shark? *leading him outside* Willy Wonka: *looking back at his wife helplessly* I have not… Camera Man: *framing a shot* Okay, rolling. (A wave of water blasts into Willy Wonka, sending him flying towards a deep puddle with a shark swimming in it.) Willy Wonka: *attempts to turn into Gary the Bracelet out of self defense* *ends up turning himself AND the shark into chocolate somehow instead* ` Sharcolatenado` (The shark and Willy’s chocolate mix in with the ` Sharknado`. Buildings are getting splattered with sticky sweet candy as the ` Sharcolatenado` rages on.) Nalitie: *has not seen what happened yet* *finishes giving instructions to Christine* OK, everyone should get in the van now, we’re gonna make a pit stop at the opera house for more celebrities. *runs upstairs and grabs her car keys* Is everyone still accounted for? *doing a head count* Log Lady: Yep! Erik: Unfortunately, I’m still here too. Harrow: Still here. (Gaster is missing. Seems he’s gone back and locked himself in Nalitie’s bathroom.) Art: *is still tied to Nalitie* Are you sure driving through this storm is the wisest move? Nalitie: *shrugs* If things go south, I can use the portal functionality. I think. Now come on! (Nalitie leads everyone outside, where she finally notices the ` Sharcolatenado`. She grimaces, then hurries into the van, shoving Art through into the passenger seat. She waits until everyone is in and has their seatbelt buckled.) Camera Man: *has strapped itself to the top of the van*` [[Next|Pg12.5]]

`(Carlotta stops singing with an angry exclamation. Mettaton throws open the door.) Mettaton: Honestly, darling, what could possibly be so important that you interrupt what was finally a perfect take? *is oblivious to the storm outside* (You all hear a rush of water from the lower floor as the wind picks up even more.) Carlotta: *staring directly at Erik with only a vague sense of recognition* Nalitie: Uhh long story short, there’s a big storm happening outside and we are here to collect celebrity guests or something! And we really need you two to, uh, defeat this storm in some way? We have a Camera Man here who wants to meet you! Mettaton: *has not noticed Erik yet, still a little miffed at Nalitie* Celebrities, you say? Carlotta: *continuing to stare at Erik, not quite sure who he is but knowing that she’s seen him somewhere* You…? Erik: *scowls even more intensely, before he has an idea and smirks at her* Yes, me. Nalitie: *to Mettaton* Yeah, uh, so we really need you two to come with us or something! Camera Man: No I like this scenery! I’ll bring the storm to you, celebrities, please put on a good show for us! Nalitie: Nevermind, we’re staying here??? Uh, you might want to watch out. You guys are gonna be in some sort of scene together! Carlotta: What do you– *immediately shuts up, because her voice came out Wrong* *something about this feels familiar, and she turns to look at Erik again, tilting her head* *hasn’t quite connected the dots* Erik: *snaps his fingers, making Carlotta croak like a toad* Mettaton: *has finally noticed Erik* Oh my! Wait just one magnificent moment! Is that who I think it is??? *trying to push past Nalitie, who has done an admirable job keeping him inside the room and away from Erik* Erik: *flustered* Hm, what? I- I don’t think so... *forgot he was supposed to be lying low* (Water rushes into the room, and the wind blows everyone back. Beans are picked up in the gale and begin to whirl around the room. Sharks are here once again. Two of them fly at Mettaton, and one lands at Carlotta’s feet.)` [[Next|pg14]]

Beannado `(Carlotta shrieks and takes a frying pan out of her inventory, using it to bat at the shark. Nalitie questions how water has reached the second floor of the opera house, and why this storm is in an inner room.) Mettaton: *casually blows up the two sharks and pushes Nalitie out of the way, heading towards Erik* Aha! The star of the show himself, here in my very own opera house, just in time for our production! Nalitie: Excuse me, your opera house??? Nuh uh, you have MTT Studios and MTT Studios ONLY! I put this one here! *wading through the water towards Mettaton* Mettaton: *suddenly has a microphone in his hand* *throws an arm around Erik’s shoulder* Tell me, how would you feel about starring in our brand new production of your very own musical??? Erik: Oh, no, I’ve really worked so hard to move on from all of that...... *tries to slink away from Mettaton* (Another shark barrels towards Mettaton and Erik.) Mettaton: *sends some of his mini-selves to blast the shark away* Ah, but it’s such a fascinating tale! The drama! The romance! The bloodshed! You must take a look at the footage we have so far, at least, and tell us how accurate our vision has been! (In the background, Carlotta is whaling on one of the sharks with her frying pan and cursing.) Erik: Ah, but isn’t it the job of a director to take some liberties and apply their own vision? I’m sure a professional such as yourself has a much better eye for this sort of thing... *slowly stepping away* (One of the sharks that the mini mettatons were fighting is blasted back into the doorway, jamming against another shark. The sharks pile up against the doorway, stuck. The ` Beannado` in the room quiets down. Beans begin to drop back onto the floor.) Mettaton: *wraps one of his very extendable arms completely around Erik to continue the conversation* *strikes a fabulous pose and kicks one of the shark carcasses away* Oh, don’t you worry about that–that natural MTT-brand flair is inevitable. But it has been quite some time since we’ve had an accurate representation of your tale, wouldn’t you say??? Erik: Ah, but you see, the accurate tale is much more.... Depressing. I’m not so sure I want that out in the open.... Besides, we’re in a bit of a situation right now, I believe now is not the time... Harrow: *decides to make a few more shark kabobs while this entire conversation is happening* (At the back of the room, Carlotta is continuing to take out her frustration on one of the shark carcasses.) Mettaton: Oh, the strange weather is dying down. Besides, the show MUST go on, as they say! Now, about the first time– Erik: *interrupts, shouting to Camera Man* You said anyone eaten comes back at the end right?? Camera Man: For the most part, yes. If they had a voice line they almost always do! Mettaton: Rude! Anyway, my dear friend and I *gestures at Nalitie* were having a disagreement about the first time you interacted physically with Christine, so if you could just– Erik: *grabs Mettaton and throws him in the nearest shark’s mouth* (Most sharks were dead except for one flopping on the floor, kicking up pinto beans. Mettaton is gobbled up whole.) Nalitie: That wasn’t very nice. *doesn’t actually do anything about it, and also is not really that offended by how that was handled* Erik: Surprise, I’m not very nice sometimes! *sarcastic jazz hands* Nalitie: Hey man, I’m on your side. It was just an observation. He’ll be fine, I’m sure. Camera Man: That was brilliant! But I’m tired of this scenery, I think it's about time for the final ` Sharknado` battle! Nalitie: Is it back to Bensel, then, since this is where this all started? Camera Man: *checking stuff off in his notepad* Hmm hmm, yes! Nalitie: *sigh* Alright then, let’s get back to the van. *cocks her blender blade gun and chainsaw gun dramatically* Time to avenge Dukermin. *heading downstairs now that the water has receded*` [[Next|pg15]]

`(The ` Beannado` has calmed down, but the ` Sharcolatenado` can still be seen in the distance. It seems to be moving its way in Bensel’s general direction!) (Nalitie leads everyone back to the van, then sets the portal to Bensel. She crosses her fingers and hopes that it actually sends them to Old McDonald’s front yard like she hopes.) (The van lands in the corn fields right outside of Old McDonald’s house, pretty much where she wanted it to go for once. Nalitie breathes a sigh of relief.) (The ` Sharknado` from before is still raging, but it has… changed. You can see the fabric of space warping its way into the tornado. Also, there are no longer only sharks flying around. You see all sorts of strange things: a regal pig, a chained taxidermied piranha, a shark with a mannequin head, just some guy, a borderline incomprehensible creature with many many eyes…) ` Cosmic-Horror-Nado` (Nalitie feels a tug in her pocket as the Pocket Magician™ begins to gravitate toward this new type of` -nado`.) Nalitie: Uh oh… *attempting to lock her pockets* Pocket Magician™: WHEEEEEE! *is bouncing around inside the locked pocket* Log Lady: *looking at chainsaw gun* Is this thing gonna work on.... That....? Nalitie: *running back towards Old McDonald’s house* YO STRANGE GUY WHAT’S NEXT? We got the bombs and the celebrities! Man: *is just outside. He lost the chainsaw gun five minutes after getting it and has now strapped two chainsaws to his knees and is battling the sharks that way.* *yelling over the storm* YOU NEED TO GET AS HIGH UP AS POSSIBLE AND DROP ALL THE BOMBS IN! Nalitie: Oh right! Hopefully Christine did her part! *looking up into the sky, shooting at anything that flies towards her with her blender blade/chainsaw guns* (Some generic guy falls out of the tornado, landing at Art’s feet.) The Guy™: Hey! How’s it going?? Art: Oh dear… are you alright? It has been quite a while since we’ve had the opportunity to talk, what with my being in No-Thing… (While those two are engrossed in conversation, the mannequin shark swoops down. It lands at Log Lady and Harrow’s feet. The mannequin head snaps over and looks between you two trying to make eye contact.) Harrow: *makes a disgusted face* *pulls out their gun and shoots it* Log Lady: Is she... dead? Are we safe? *fires a couple of chainsaws at her to be safe* Harrow: She makes me uncomfortable. (The shark body goes limp. Debra Manikin looks between you one last time and the head disconnects from the body and sinks into the ground. Surely that won’t cause problems later.) Harrow: Oh that’s… I didn’t like that.` [[Next|pg16]]

`(Above the sounds of flying cosmic horrors, sharks, the wind, and the rain, you hear the gentle sound of jingle bells. Nalitie peers up into the sky. High above the storm, you can see the outline of a sleigh, pulled by nine flying reindeer.) Nalitie: *pointing* Santa! We need to get into that sleigh, and then we can drop bombs! Art: *arm is being tugged by Nalitie’s pointing* *ignoring her and still talking to The Guy™* Erik: Santa? As in.. Claus? Nalitie: Yeah, Erscoga!Santa, to be exact, but he shares the knowledge of all of the other Santas in the multiverse or something. Anyway, he’s real good friends with Christine, and he’s probably our best shot at getting high enough to drop bombs into the -nado now that Dukermin’s… Anyway, we gotta get up there. *trying to tug Art along* Art: *ignoring her* Erik: I can take him. Go end this, please. *offers his hand to take the string* Nalitie: *ties Art to Erik* *takes a moment to admire how picturesque it is having the two very tall masked men in the dimension tied to each other* *salutes, then runs off* *actively scaling Old McDonald’s house, shouting for Santa, pulling bombs out of her pockets* (At the point, the` Cosmic-Horror-Nado and the Sharcolatenado have combined into one disgusting and bizarre nado monstrosity.) Cosmic-Horror-Sharcolatenado (Santa flies down and Nalitie jumps into his sleigh. The two soar up into the sky, and Nalitie lights and launches as many bombs as she can into the Cosmic-Horror-Sharcolatenado.) (The bombs are sucked into the tornado, and it only takes a short amount of time for the bombs to explode. The wind knocks everyone back as the Cosmic-Horror-Sharcolatenado is disrupted, sending sparks and water and chocolate specks everywhere.) (The blast causes the portion of space that had been sucked into the tornado to invert, and all the cosmic horrors are sent careening back into space. Some of the sharks are caught up in the space-inversion as well, but most fall to the ground, littering Old Mcdonald’s fields.) (The strange man looks up as the sleigh flies away from the blast. He salutes you all and transforms into his true form: a well-worn Bass Pro Shops ballcap. The Camera Man yells “cut!”, picks up the hat, and jumps into the space-inversion. Bensel is calm once again. A shark with a chunk missing from its left fin lands close to the group.)` [[Next|pg17]]

`Santa: *lands back near the group* Log Lady: So does this mean we’re in a movie now, somewhere out there in the multiverse? Are they gonna like send me a check, or.....something? Harrow: I don’t miss doing this sort of stuff, and do I wish we’d get paid for it. Nalitie: I mean… This all feels a little too real to be just a movie. *gestures to all of the dead sharks* And Dukermin got killed, so now I’m just supposed to deal with the bread taxes all on my own? AND run the school system? AND clean up the whole mess from the void stuff??? *starting to panic* Log Lady: I wonder if we can take those guys to dimensional court over this... (You hear muffled yelling and… squeaking? from inside the shark that landed in front of you.) Nalitie: *turns to look at the shark, confused* Do you guys hear that? *digging in her pockets* Erik: Here, this might work. *hands Nalitie a sleek, sharp pocket knife* Nalitie: *takes it* I feel dangerous. *carefully starts cutting open the shark, unsure what’s in there* (After a while, the shark is cut open enough for Dukermin’s cosmic bubble to fall out. Dukermin is hollering as a stork is flapping around in a panic inside the bubble. The bubble pops, Dukermin flops onto her back, and the stork picks up a small package and hops over to present it to Nalitie.) Dukermin: EAAAAAAUGGGH THAT WAS GROSS. Nalitie: Dukermin!!! *pauses as she realizes the stork is waiting for her attention* …? *cautiously holds her arms out to receive the package* (In the background, the chocolate in the puddles starts to move and conglomerate back together.) Stork: *drops the package into Nalitie’s hands, then flies away.* Nalitie: *unbundles the package gingerly* (Inside the package is a healthy little baby girl. She’s fast asleep, and bears a little nametag that says “Rosabelle.” Nalitie gasps in recognition.) Nalitie: Oh my goodness! Wait, this is… She wasn’t supposed to be here yet, she wasn’t due until 2024… Dukermin: *rolling in the grass* I told you there was weird time stuff happening! You know that baby? Nalitie: This is Rosabelle. My no-longer theoretical child that I have with Willy Wonka… But we specifically were planning on having her in 2024, because by that time, the other kids would have been grown up a little bit, rather than having five infants in the house at the same time… I wonder why the stork brought her now, instead??? (Behind Nalitie, the chocolate puddles have slowly formed into a human shape. They solidify back into Willy Wonka.) Log Lady: I’m not sure how time works here, but in our universe it’s January 2025. Nalitie: *frowns* Last document, it was like August 2018 here. I thought we set our Retrieval to be whatever the present time was in Erscoga, but maybe that messed it up? I don’t think we tried to make it 2024 or 2025 when we came back… Dukermin: I mean… what is “the present” anyway man… Does anyone really know? Says something about society I think. Willy Wonka: *is now fully human again* *looking over Nalitie’s shoulder* What is that? Nalitie: *turns around* Oh, you’re alive! This is our daughter, I guess! (Willy Wonka promptly passes out.) Erik: I hate to interrupt your touching reunion, but I cannot go on one more minute smelling like chocolate, seawater, and beans. Can we please take a portal back home so I can shower? Dukermin: Everyone’s going home already? Man, I didn’t even get to enjoy my beach day! Log Lady: We can have a beach day by my house next time! There’s a beach down the road usually! Nalitie: That might be for the better. We can go pick up everyone else from the bunker, maybe send you home with some snacks? If you’re really desperate, I can kick Gaster out of his bathroom and you can take a shower there. I’ve got that sweet bathtub-shower combo. Erik: I suppose I can wait for that. (Suddenly, one of the nearby sharks explodes in a cloud of glitter. Mettaton steps out, remarkably unharmed.) Nalitie: uhhh ok, let’s get going then! *hurrying everyone to the van* (And then they went to Nalitie’s house.)` [[Next|pg18]]

`(Nalitie’s house is silent, save for the sounds of the couch crashing back through the roof from the space station. Seems like it’s mostly unharmed. Nalitie heads down to the vent hole to retrieve everyone else and bring Art back to his cell. She’s left Rob back on the beach on Bensel. She also takes a moment to kick Gaster out of the bathtub in case anyone wanted to use it. Erik immediately seizes the opportunity to get cleaned off.) (Eventually, everyone gathers in the kitchen to say their goodbyes. Nalitie packs a little bag full of snacks–mostly applesauce and cheese crackers.) Nalitie: *writing down her new contact information now that her interdimensional cell service is back up and running, no thanks to Art* And this is probably the best way to contact me from now on. I also put Christine’s number on here, because it seems like she’s been able to get ahold of people even when my stuff is on the fritz. Log Lady: Great!! We’ll reschedule the beach day when the weather’s looking better. Dukermin: Yes and next time someone else can get killed off right away! Nalitie: I mean, hopefully no one gets killed off at all. I feel like Erscoga has become very dramatic lately. A lot of plot action carrying over instead of being contained in each chapter. We’ll have to bring you over for something so mundane that nothing could go wrong, like painting the new nursery I’m going to have to build. Dukermin: I know, I feel like at the beginning all we ever did were chores and stuff! I haven’t done a chore in ages! My cave is very dusty… Nalitie: And my house… *looks around at the gigantic mess of her very cramped household* uh, yeah. Anyway, we’ll have you over for chores or something next time instead. Log Lady: Yeah! Surely the most chaotic that could turn out to be is just like.. Procrastinating the chores. It’s been real y’all, we’ll be in touch! Dukermin: Yeah! I had a lot of fun before I got swallowed whole! Let’s do it again sometime! Not that last bit tho! Nalitie: *has packed the Ask Erik! citizens a bunch of goodies for their trip* Yeah. Alright, here’s some stuff for the road. It’s mostly toddler snacks, sorry. *digs through her pockets* By the way, here’s your knife back *hands that to Erik* Erik: Ah, thank you! And Log Lady’s diet is not varied much beyond toddler snacks anyway, so those will suffice. Nalitie: Oh, sweet, that works then. Alright, that should be everything. *reluctant because it’s been SO long apparently since they’ve had contact and she is afraid that something weird will happen to Erscoga again* Hugs? Log Lady: Group hug! *pulls Erik and Raoul in and forces them to group hug. Gustave participates enthusiastically.* (Group hugs were had. Goodbyes were said. Portals were went through. “The Ballad of Sharknado” plays yet again as the` [[end credits roll]].)

(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[(enchant: ?text, (t8n: "dissolve")) \[Cast (in order of appearance)]<text| \(after: 2.7s)[(replace: ?text)[Bee - Nalitie]] \(after: 5.4s)[(replace: ?text)[Nalitie - Nalitie]] \(after: 8.1s)[(replace: ?text)[Gaster - Nalitie (stolen from zarla-s)]] \(after: 10.8s)[(replace: ?text)[Willy Wonka - Nalitie]] \(after: 13.5s)[(replace: ?text)[Dave - Nalitie]] \(after: 16.2s)[(replace: ?text)[Lisa - Nalitie]] \(after: 18.9s)[(replace: ?text)[Leonarda - Nalitie]] \(after: 21.6s)[(replace: ?text)[Christine - Nalitie]] \(after: 24.3s)[(replace: ?text)[Erscoga Tobias - Nalitie]] \(after: 27s)[(replace: ?text)[Dukermin - Dukermin]] \(after: 29.7s)[(replace: ?text)[Mickey Mouse/Mjoll - Dukermin]] \(after: 32.4s)[(replace: ?text)[Unknown Generic Man (Aerin’s Corpse) - Dukermin]] \(after: 35.1s)[(replace: ?text)[Sweeney Todd - `Log_Lady`]] \(after: 37.8s)[(replace: ?text)[David Tennant - `Log_Lady`, anm0chi, Nalitie, Dukermin]] \(after: 40.5s)[(replace: ?text)[Erik - `Log_Lady`]] \(after: 43.2s)[(replace: ?text)[Log Lady - `Log_Lady`]] \(after: 45.9s)[(replace: ?text)[Gustave - `Log_Lady`]] \(after: 48.6s)[(replace: ?text)[Harrow - anm0chi]] \(after: 51.3s)[(replace: ?text)[Raoul - anm0chi]] \(after: 54s)[(replace: ?text)[Skelebabies - Nalitie, Dukermin]] \(after: 56.7s)[(replace: ?text)[Art - Nalitie]] \(after: 59.4s)[(replace: ?text)[Rob - Nalitie]] \(after: 62.1s)[(replace: ?text)[Snape - Dukermin, Nalitie]] \(after: 64.8s)[(replace: ?text)[Mackinaw!Frisk - Nalitie]] \(after: 67.5s)[(replace: ?text)[Papyrus - Nalitie]] \(after: 70.2s)[(replace: ?text)[Candle Grandma - Dukermin]] \(after: 72.9s)[(replace: ?text)[Strange Man (Fin Shepard) - Dukermin]] \(after: 75.6s)[(replace: ?text)[Sharks - Dukermin]] \(after: 78.3s)[(replace: ?text)[Old McDonald - Nalitie]] \(after: 81s)[(replace: ?text)[Pocket Magician™- Dukermin]] \(after: 83.7s)[(replace: ?text)[Camera Man]] \(after: 86.4s)[(replace: ?text)[Carlotta - Nalitie]] \(after: 89.1s)[(replace: ?text)[Mettaton - Nalitie]] \(after: 91.8s)[(replace: ?text)[Aengus the Prize Winning Hog]] \(after: 94.5s)[(replace: ?text)[Feracles the Dreamdrinker]] \(after: 97.2s)[(replace: ?text)[The Guy™]] \(after: 99.9s)[(replace: ?text)[The Many-Eyed Horror]] \(after: 102.6s)[(replace: ?text)[Santa - Nalitie]] \(after: 105.3s)[(replace: ?text)[Stork - Dukermin]] \(after: 108s)[(replace: ?text)[and introducing Debra Manikin]] \(after: 111s)[(replace: ?text)[Twine formatting by Nalitie]] \(after: 114s)[(replace: ?text)["(The Ballad of) Sharknado" by Quint]] \(after: 117s)[(replace: ?text)[This particular crossover will return... eventually.]] \(after: 122s)[(replace: ?text)[ \[Again?]<playagain|(click: ?playagain)[(reload:)]]] <iframe width="100" height="100" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hJ2Gy_bq4Dw?si=mmEo9E33fm_3c7Xh&autoplay=1&enablejspi=1" allow="autoplay"></iframe>]

`Nalitie: *driving down the streets of Verdanaville, pointing through the storm at various buildings* And that’s Green Circle Labs, which is how we got to Ask Erik! earlier, they do our portal technology. Down there is TreeGrass Institutes, which we will ignore! We are coming up on FoodSure Incorporated’s headquarters, which is right next to the Spectre Opera House and Concert Hall, which is our destination! Erik: Wow, you guys get to have permanent structures here? It seems like our town is different every other week. I’ve missed consistency.... Nalitie: Yes, we have a map and everything! If it weren’t for the `sharcolatenado`, by the way, I’d give you a proper tour of the Spectre, because it is my pride and joy, but unfortunately we are going to have to settle for running in, hoping there’s no more beans flooding any of the rooms, and kidnap Carlotta and Mettaton to use as celebrity guests! *parks directly in front of the doors* Camera Man: Two more celebrity guests will be satisfying! We have to get great celebrity shots to make up for the fact that none of our other characters were willing to return! *hops down from the roof* (The facade of the Spectre Opera House and Concert Hall, though covered currently in chocolate rain, is made up of warm glass and stone pillars. It lights up the whole street. When you walk inside, the foyer–which is currently inexplicably filled with pinto beans–is large with marble floors, the finest chandeliers from the Mother Menards on Lux, and still has the Christmas banners up in the Erscoga schools’ colors.) Nalitie: *ushering everyone inside, and pulling up her floor plans, trying to remember where the rehearsal spaces are* Erik: Wow, this is gorgeous! Except.... Um.... are the beans meant to be a part of the decor? Nalitie: Er, no, that’s a side effect from when we extracted the bean factory that had made its home underneath the opera house. We’re still cleaning up in here. Christine says it’s been a problem all week; some of the dressing rooms had to be shovelled out… Also, I am very glad you like it, it took me forever to design! I named it after you, kind of. Erik: The architecture truly is stunning! It’s quite modern, but still evokes a lovely feel of the classics in its style- Art: I hate to interrupt, but might I remind you of the overwhelming time pressure? We were here to collect celebrities, were we not? Nalitie: Yeah, yeah, whatever. You’re awful pushy for the guy who didn’t want to be involved in any of this, you know. *leading everyone towards where she assumes Mettaton and Carlotta are filming their next scenes* (The wind strangely begins to pick up inside the opera house.) Erik: Ugh, it’s been a while since I heard that voice. I could have waited longer, even. *scowls* Nalitie: Yeah, well, Mettaton wanted an authentic cast. Oh btw, you may or may not want him to see you, because he might try to rope you into his production of your musical. Although he did put himself in the title role, so maybe not. But he’s bound to have a million questions. *bangs on the dressing room door* FBI, OPEN UP` [[Next|Pg13]]